When I was a little girl, I would make potions in the trees during recess and I would look for Daddy Long Legs to play with.
I imagined that our school playground laid above a graveyard and that those buried were trying to speak to me. I swear I could hear them. And I just wanted to help set them free.
This was my natural state and what felt most normal to me. Talking to trees. Feelings deeply connected to the earth. Until I learned a new way- the way to blend in and make friends. I slowly lost parts of myself. I became easy to dictate to and take control of. I always had that spark of “I dare you to fuck with me”….but the more I grew up, the more I abandoned myself to belong and be apart of the ‘cool girls.’ My natural energetic state was one that was strong, fierce, quiet, powerful and connected to the elements. I had to go against that. I even dressed like a witch…well as much as you can when you have to wear a uniform…and my ‘friends’ would always make fun of my black boots with rolled down socks. That was one thing that I would not budge on. I loved those boots and wore them every day.
We do silly things to blend in don’t we? We set down parts of ourselves to belong because no one gets us. I’ll never forget the time I sold all my Pagan books to a used bookstore because my boyfriend at the time thought it was weird. I made like $6.00. I was horrified. WHAT?!? Never again.
It took me until my late 30s to understand the full potential of my powers.
I always knew how to alchemize. How to heal. How to journey.
I want to guide. To support. To empower. To grow. To evolve. To say…FUCK YOU PATRIARCHY. I DON’T NEED YOU AND I DON’T WANT YOU.
